I don’t believe we lose or gain our self-worth. It’s not something we have taken away from us due to our behaviour or a situation that happened that we had no control over. I believe we all have inherent value, or worth, but we may be more or less connected to it due to our life experiences.
Signs we may be less connected to our self-worth include:
• Placing boundaries or sharing an opinion feels terrifying
• Constantly doubting yourself and your choices, the big and small ones
• Striving for a level of perfection in most things you do that is hard to meet
• Avoiding social situations because you feel like you don’t fit in or no one cares about you
• Doing whatever you need to do to “keep the peace” in your relationships, like saying yes to everything or changing your values/personality/needs
• Having a difficult time accepting compliments, kindness, or praise from others or having a difficult time giving these things to yourself
• Over-apologizing, apologizing when nothing happened, or apologizing when something wasn’t your fault
• Being unsure of who you are: your likes, dislikes, desires, needs, boundaries, goals etc.
While these things may not cause challenges when they happen once in a while (we’re all human after all), if we notice a consistent pattern of experiences like these, it may signal that we find it difficult to connect deeply with our inherent worth.
These patterns may have developed as a way to protect ourselves from things like rejection, conflict, shame, failure, and unpredictable caregivers. But, they can impact every facet of our life and may lead to burnout, depression, anxiety, or chronic health conditions.
When we do this work together, we’ll look at the different patterns that show up for you, like the examples listed above or other ones you have noticed for yourself. We’ll discuss the things that get in the way of you connecting more deeply to your worth. For example, you may hold beliefs that create feelings of unworthiness or you may have fears around what would happen if you stepped into your worth.
When we are rooted more deeply in our inherent value and worth, we begin to trust ourselves to lead our own lives. Life will still present us with challenges, but we may experience more moments of contentment, flow, or stability. As we take our values, needs, desires, and goals into consideration, we may notice that it feels easier to navigate the ups and downs of life when we’re anchored deeply to our self-worth.